Michelle Baleka
2006 (Poem)
Here I have included a PDF containing the original and revised drafts of a poem I wrote entitled "2006." Edited in a large, full class-sized group I received a great deal of feedback on the initial draft of this piece. As part of the assignment for the poetry writing class I composed this for, I was required to write revision notes and present the revised draft and notes to my professor. The revision notes outline the changes I made to the poem and why I chose to make those changes. The poem itself is a personal piece, one I may further revise or expand upon in the future.
A Quick and Accurate Summary of "Romeo & Juliet" (Parody)
This was a very fun assignment, wherein I had the chance to write something I had never attempted before. Humour writing is not a style of writing I have dabbled in extensively. In fact, the humour writing course I took was my first real attempt at fashioning comedic pieces. I quickly discovered how fun and rewarding it could be to not only try a style of writing I had never attempted before, but also how enjoyable humour writing is, itself. In this PDF I have included the original and revised versions of my parody, as well as revision notes that detail my process in composing this piece, and discusses the alterations I made for the final draft. I hope to revisit this style of writing in the future.
Tomorrow (Editing Scans)
Multiple rounds of editing and revising went into bringing my short story “Tomorrow” to its current state, as seen in the Creative Writing section of this portfolio. After presenting it to my peers in a special writing class, it was discussed at length, and each person provided editing suggestions. Initially, I only did some surface edits after this class, but later I worked on deeper revisions. Giving myself a few months away from the work allowed me to read it with fresh eyes, while the suggestions my peers and professor had made remained at the back of my mind. Here you can view a PDF that contains the pen and paper revisions I made for this piece. These revisions were a fairly recent endeavor, and in charting ways to fix my story, I incorporated a great deal of the suggestions from that class, as well as my own ideas. Some original aspects of the story, such as family names and the ethnic distinction of the husband, were removed. I also worked to change the tone of the piece and to flesh out the relationship between the husband and wife more fully. Many peers had remarked that the husband seemed either absent-minded or somewhat sinister. This was not what I had intended at all, so I was very mindful of the language I used in my later drafts. I was also careful to highlight the distinction between the narrator’s panicked thoughts and the reality of her husband’s affections. More details on the reasons behind these changes can be seen in the description for the final version of the story, which can be found on the Creative Writing page.
This scan, however, is not fully representative of the final draft of my work. After making these pen and paper edits, I took to revising the Word document, using these pages as my guide. I then shared my revised piece with a trusted friend and fellow writer, who provided me with the suggestions I needed to finally finish polishing my piece. As such, I believe this document to be a strong companion to the final version of my story. My pen and paper editing notes help to show the steps I took when making my revisions, and provide a glimpse of what an earlier draft of the story looked like.
Creative Writing Revisions
Interplay of Identity & Power in Shakespeare's Richard II
Shakespeare’s Richard II is one of my favourites, filled with gorgeous language, and a problematic protagonist that manages to gain my sympathy. Enticed by the beauty of the speeches featured in this play and the internal struggles of the titular character, I decided to write a term paper on Richard II. Here I have provided a PDF that contains the original and final revised versions of my essay. After my original version was graded and returned to me, I decided to revise it so I could reshape my thesis into one that better supported my arguments. As such, I have rewritten the thesis, changed the title, and made numerous alterations, such as the inclusion of more quotations. Once I had made my personal revisions, two peers both read and provided editing suggestions for the piece, which I used in order to create the revised version featured in the PDF, a version with a stronger thesis, firmer arguments, and improved clarity, grammar, and vision.
Beowulf Sight Translation & Commentary
Originally, this was a timed assignment. Given only an hour, I had to translate a passage from Beowulf and then include a brief commentary on an issue or aspect of the translated passage. For revision purposes, I have altered my translation, rearranging lines, adding or changing the conjugations of words, and inserting punctuation markers not found in the original. All of this was done to make the syntax sound smoother, and to increase the clarity of the passage, as the initial sight translation more closely resembled the syntax of the original Old English – syntax that makes no sense in modern English. I have also included a page that cites the book that contains the manuscript I translated, and have edited my commentary. Most of these edits are surface revisions, fixing up awkward phrasing and tweaking sentences. I have added a couple of sentences to my revised commentary as well that better highlight the points I was arguing and emphasis the way the play’s shift in narrative structure invites the audience to begin to form a more emotional connection to the epic. The PDF (accessible by clicking the read button below) includes both the original and revised versions of my translation and commentary.
Class Consciousness: the World of Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" (Editing Scans)
This is one of the first essays I wrote in university. Looking back on it now, I can see how much my writing voice has matured. Additionally, reading the essay has given me a sense of how much my analytical skills have improved. While this essay was confined to a very short word limit, and thus could not expand greatly on many points, it still scratched rather shallowly at the surface of an issue far more complex than my paper presents it to be. My pen and paper editing notes have been scanned and uploaded into a PDF file, accessible by clicking the read button at the bottom of this description. In purple ink, I have made numerous changes to many of the sentences, and have included notations on what to expand upon, and how to expand upon these arguments, as well as new arguments and issues to incorporate into the essay to truly make it function well analytically. I believe viewing this document will prove not only how much I have grown in my analysis and writing skills since 2012, but will also show my understanding of what kind of revisions are needed to make a lack luster piece effective. I have not applied these revisions to my essay at this time, as I believe a complete rewrite would be more beneficial than simply adding in my corrections. This rewrite, however, would feature a great deal of the quotations used in my original essay, as well as the ideas I have written onto the draft. I may return to the notions presented in this paper in the future, and create something with far greater depth.